It’s true A Big Black Dog and a 6-year-old won the universe!
I love People. I love to watch, listen, Talk to ….. I just love people, I find the way they digest or filter something that they have seen or heard into reality such an amazing process.
When we are optimistic it is easy to see the good in everything, pessimists… Not so much. I live by the philosophy that the glass really is always full, part of it might be air but hey, it’s still full.
So how do you develop a positive attitude? Decide. Simple as that, I’m not going to say it is always easy or fun, but when we decide, we really don’t have to think about it anymore. I refer to this theory as the theory of the Big Black Dog
I love to tell the story of trying to develop a positive mindset in my then 6 year old son. He was suffering from depression because his father and I were divorced and his father just wasn’t around much at the time.
My Son Bryer would always come home after school and tell me how awful it was and how he had no friends and no one cared about him… I often lay awake at night trying to figure out what to do, finally, I just turned it over to God and in less than 24 hours I was introduced to the idea of mindset. Literally what you believe to be true is your unwavering perception of reality. It might not be Reality but because you perceive it that way it is for you.
So the following morning I got him up and when he started the nobody loves me whine I put him in front of the mirror with a list to recite.
The first day was like pulling teeth. I could hear him in the bathroom grinding his teeth and reciting… “I am a Child Of God” ” I am Loved” “I am a Great person with a lot of friends” ” Everybody Loves ME” “I am a great student and school is easy for me” Imagine a 6 year old reciting all this while he rolls his eyes and clenches his teeth.
By day three he was sounding less “Put Out” and more like a happy child. By Day 7 The Side of the Tub had become his stage and he would stand up there and tell the soap and towels how wonderful he was. I decided to continue to make him do it for at least a month and every morning when we got in the car we would talk about all the things we were thankful for.
It worked. He decided from reciting these truths about himself over and over that they were true. His new reality was fun, laughter, friendships, the transformation was amazing. He got so excited speaking things into his new reality that one morning he came running into my room and announced we were getting a Big Black Dog.
I was trying to think of a 100 ways to make him understand that this theory would never happen. We were a single-parent family. We had to take care of financial things first, Big Black Dogs were expensive and ate a lot….. I looked at his little face and just said sometimes we don’t always get what we want but we do get what God wants us to have.
Every day for weeks I had to endure his excitement over this Big Black Dog. Every day I would listen to all the games he was going to play with the Big Black Dog, what the Big Black Dog would eat, where it would sleep, What he was going to name it, What they were going to do on holidays….Every day I tried to figure out what to do to counteract his disappointment when the Big Black Dog did not happen.
Until the week of Thanksgiving. I opened the door to carry stuff to the car, and there she sat A BIG BLACK DOG. I promptly shut the door. Now what. She began to beat her tail on the door. Bryer ran in the room to see who was knocking, “Listen” I said, “If you had a Big Black Dog and it got lost and someone found it wouldn’t you be sad?” He said “Sure, Who’s at the door?” I looked out the window and I swear the Big Black Dog was grinning at me. “It might be something lost and we have to return it OK?”
Bryer Opened the door looked at me and rolled his eyes, “Mom, I told you we were getting a Big Black Dog.” As hard as I tried to find her home, No one claimed her (the lost and found morning radio show banned me from calling) and eventually her name became Lady. She had the most amazing manners, Slept with Bryer ate whatever he told her too, played every game he said she would and my favorite picture of them is one where they are hunting Easter Eggs, Lady was winning but she kept eating the eggs so Bryer insisted we could not count hers.
Lady believed the World was her oyster, Bryer was her Prince and life was wonderful. She ended up being the biggest blessing in all our lives. But I think the biggest lesson from her was the knowledge that even a 6-year-old boy could make the universe comply with a decision and an ounce of belief.
The First Step In the Big Black Dog Theory is simply to decide.
The second step in the Big Black Dog Theory is to live in faith that it is coming.
The last step in the Big Black Dog Theory is To Simply Be Thankful for the blessings it brings.
Love this!